A bipedal humanoid of 500 lbs or more, not one to crawl,
he’s covered head to toe in dark brown or red hair,
trust me, even if your hair’s super thick it doesn’t compare.
Generally known as Bigfoot, Sasquatch to others,
there would have to be she’s, not only the he’s,
and purported sisters as well as reputed brothers.

They’re said to dwell in deep forests, loving the trees,
but for some, mountains and swamps are better to please.
Hundreds of alleged Bigfoot sightings have been recorded
but only a smidgeon of scientists are positively accorded.
Regarding the most sightings, North America lays claim,
mainly in the region known as the Pacific Northwest.

Call them Bigfoot or Sasquatch, choose your favorite name,
the mainstream of the scientific community will readily attest
evidence of their existence simply doesn’t pass the test,
saying Bigfoot is a combination of folklore and hoax,
with misidentification adding to denouncement strokes.

No Bigfoot remains have ever anywhere been found,
nor have feces samples that would allow for DNA testing.
Yet a handful of scientists say Bigfoot sightings merit more ground
for study, refusing to find the mainstream’s arguments arresting,
while existence evidence is unpersuasive as play money investing.
Bigfoot so-called tracks and photos have been thoroughly studied
and found to be hoaxes, any idea of truth solidly muddied.

Still, Bigfoot became a phenomenon in popular acculturation,
and alleged sightings have spread in different parts of the globe.
Somehow these ape-like creatures have captured our fascination,
maybe we don’t care if they flunked the truth or fiction probe,
we can imagine Bigfoot a 10 foot rock star in a hairy brown robe.
But if expecting a friend, open your door and see Bigfoot instead,
it’s probably as good a time as any to get off your med.